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» Your personal information will be in the hands of 417 large, evil multinational corporations by the time you finish reading this fortune.
» You will write a Perl script to spit out random text.
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Rutais Hartdixs has been hired by netdemocrat.com as a sub-adjunct trade show booth bunny.
Full story.
K. K. Barber, junior in Russian will appear in a preliminary hearing March 1 to face charges of driving on a canceled/suspended license.
Full story.

Graduation is a time for a moose, clouds and diplomas, but many graduates are also expecting to receive gifts.
Full story.

Alyssa Medley has disproven Howlett's Sixth Conjecture with a recent experiment on campus.
Full story.

A part-time job, 17 hours, a 9-year-old son, a band and a gray album. All of these things are a part of G. J. Boggs's life.
Full story.
Plaisli Forblack, junior in interior design said, "Great."
Full story.
"The Russian Revolution As Seen In Liberated Female Mythology" is the most popular undergraduate class at Carroll Friesen Ivy League College.
Full story.
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